A Round Tuit
14.99
See New Version

For the first time ever, KaleCoAuto is offering this exciting new accessory! The Round Tuit. We spent three years looking for this item, and finally have found it. This highly sought after item is a requirement to finish all those hard jobs that you keep putting off. Sold unpainted. We do anticipate offering them in different colors, if we ever get around to it…

Butt Dyno
529.95
See New Version

Just install a great mod like a cold air intake? Electric supercharger? Big Muffler? Magnetic fuel line ionizer? Awesome wing? Are you getting no respect from your friends for your newly found power? As we all know, these are high end and sophisticated modifications. Some may be TOO sophisticated to actually show up on a traditional dyno. So here we have: The Butt Dyno. Simply place it in the seat, and drive fast, weaving in and out of traffic. (On a race course, of course.) Now you can tell your friends with confidence “That oil-saturated air filter gave me 20 horses!”

ColoradoNav
419.99
Discontinued

Exclusive for Colorado – the new KaleCoAuto navigation unit! This unit is far more simple than competing navigation units. No more fumbling with your Tan-Trum, or manipulating your Mojellin. This is the last time you’ll grab your Garmond.
What is so innovative, you ask? The simple interface. Pizza. Taco.
Simply select the item of choice, the ColoradoNAV will immediately find the nearest open pizza or taco joint!
You will also entitled to future updates such as: * Free streaming of Seth Rogen movies. (Pending licensing.) * Nearest grocery store with Nacho Cheese flavored tortilla chips. * Wait… what?

High Intensity Road Flares
40.99
See New Version

Many modern day vehicles are equipped with high intensity (xenon) headlights. Unfortunately, this makes unsafe conditions for the broken-down motorist. Your old flares just don’t grab attention when the daylight-projecting HID car comes racing around the corner at multiples of the legal speed limit. Who else but KaleCoAuto to provide a solution? These are KaleCoAuto’s finest road flares. They are specially made to compete with modern HID lighting, and provide the best bang for your buck you can get! A word of warning, you may want to take at least three steps back after lighting, these flares are extremely bright.

Passenger Noise Reducer
36.99
See New Version

KaleCoAuto loves all-in-one solutions, and we know that you do as well. Imagine, with one product, you could solve the following problems: *Back Seat Drivers *Overly Helpful Passengers *People who doubt your awesome driving ability *And more! The KaleCoAuto Passenger Noise Reducer is guaranteed to reduce troublesome ‘passenger noise’ by 95%. The KaleCoAuto “PNR” is made from high quality silicone, with stainless bit and elastic band. Completely hypo-allergenic and totally humane. Order now, quantities are limited! Must be 18.

Porcupine Seat Covers
299.50
Discontinued

Sheepskin. Leather. Neoprene. Cloth. A recipe for boring? We thought so. Sure, you could go with the flow, be a regular boring Joe like everyone else. You could don your toupee, gold chains, and slide onto those boring old sheepskin seat covers. But you won’t. You’re a discerning KaleCoAuto customer. You demand more. Well, put on those Oakley Blade sunglasses and your best pair of parachute pants and jump into your car – because you just bought the coolest seat covers around. Porcupine seat covers. Only for the adventurous, never for the boring. Porcupine seat covers are made with no less than 4 skins per seat! (That’s about 120,000 quills, if you are counting.) Each quill is held in with a high quality resin that not only makes the seat stain proof, but also prevents the dropping of quills. Each seat is guaranteed for two full years.

The Friendly Cat’s Paw
49.95
Scratched Out

Motorists and Cyclists alike,
As you already know: most states require a three foot buffer for a motorist to pass a cyclist. How far is three feet? Well, it’s pretty impractical to hang a measuring tape out of your window.
So what is the solution?
The KaleCoAuto Friendly Cat’s Paw. Simply attach the clamp side to your bicycle and extend the telescoping Cat’s Paw. This extends to exactly 2ft 11 and 7/8ths inches. If a motorist passes too close, the spring-loaded Cat’s Paw will gently brush the paint of the vehicle and emit a high pitched squealing sound as the (user replaceable!) friendship-blades run across the paint! The motorist will know immediately they are too close, and give you a friendly wave. Whew! Accident avoided.
Another KaleCoAuto product that makes sharing the road safer and more fun!*
Weight Weenies: Only 113 grams! *Not for use with pedestrians.

Lowering Kit
19.95
See New Version

Some people spend hundreds – even thousands merely to lower their car! Some people even cut their springs – that is the wrong way to lower a car! Why bother with different bolt sizes and components, when KaleCoAuto’s do-it-yourself lowering kit is a mere four piece kit! Installs in minutes, just insert one per tire and you’ll be the envy of every lowrider in town! Now available in standard, chrome, and gold.

Perfectly Clear Tail Lights
75.90
Discontinued

Over the last year or so, KaleCoAuto has noticed the trend towards Altezza style (Aka ‘clears’) tail lights. What they all had in common, was their weak point. None of the clear tail lights were actually clear. They simply were not red. Perhaps a better term would be monochrome tail lights? How mundane! Available for the first time anywhere, KaleCoAuto brings you Perfectly Clear Tail Lights. These tail lights maintain 100% clarity from any viewing angle! Be VERY careful not to lose track of them when you are installing them, you may never find them again.

Polishing Pads with Wear Indicator
10.95
See New Version

With these high quality microfiber polishing pads, you not only avoid creating swirl marks in your paint by using a worn out pad, they also save you money by indicating when they are worn out. Never throw away a pad with use left again! A special super-soft microfiber covers a plush foam interior, and absolutely positively will not create swirl marks for the lifetime of the product – guaranteed! They work on this unique principal: Within every pad, are a series of metal spikes. When the pad is worn out, the foam breaks down, then the metal spines penetrate the cloth, and leave a visual indication on your vehicle, so you know when it’s time to replace the pad! Compatible with any common buffer, or can also be used by hand.

Redhead Headlights
70.95
Discontinued

Be the talk of the town! Are you tired of being uncool with those white headlights? Don’t think the blue ones are unique enough? Yellow have you scared? KaleCoAuto Redhead Headlights are especially popular with law enforcement! Flash your lights at them, and they are sure to stop by and say hello!

Salad Shooting Spinning Rims
2260.99
Cancelled, no spin-off

The urban boy racer in us wants bling. The adult racer in us wants functional. The hungry guy in us wants salad. KaleCoAuto brings you all three at once! The KaleCoAuto Salad Shooting Spinning Rims are just what Dr. Hunger ordered! Long day at work? Grab some lettuce, veggies, a chicken, toss it in the wheels, and voila! Instant salad!

AWD Kit
650.00
New Version Coming Soon

Been unsatisfied with the monster torque steer in your front wheel drive luxury car? Been annoyed by the rear end of your new high powered sports car sliding out in the rain and snow? Jealous of those folks with the big spoilers and pink performance parts? Let’s face it: Only AWD cars have good handling. (Just ask anyone with an AWD performance vehicle.) To overcome the shortcomings of many otherwise nice vehicles, KaleCoAuto has developed this system! The lug-pulleys bolt directly to the wheel studs! If you can change a tire, you can install this kit. Please refrain from making left or right turns once this kit is installed. To enjoy the added handling benefits of AWD with this kit, is important that the steering wheel remains perfectly centered!

Car to Plane Kit
1450.99
Grounded

Since man saw the first bird cartwheeling through the sky, he has dreamed of flight. This is for you, the dreamer. For every man, woman, and child of driving age that has ever been stuck in traffic, and envied the plane far above. This kit is for you. It is made of only the highest quality metals. Satisfaction is guaranteed 110%. We know you’ll like it – No one has EVER returned one of these kits!

Car to Tank Kit
1190.99
De-treaded

Only three words can truly cover the accurate description of this product: Holy f*ing st. Yes, we’ve gone there. With pride, we unveil the KaleCoAuto Car to Tank kit! Featuring high strength steel construction and military grade components, we’re sure this kit will survive even the harshest urban environments. Never wait in traffic again. Simply bolts to the roof of your vehicle, and takes the same easy to obtain ammunition used by the M1-A1. How can this be legal, you ask? Well to be honest, lawyers are pretty damn expensive. We have taken a new approach: Launch the product, and then watch the news.

Flux Capacitor
15,849.95
See New Version

The famed and fabled Flux Capacitor! Many flux capacitor designs have come and gone in the marketplace. Most have only been compatible with certain low production paintless cars. But now, KaleCoAuto has brought to you a modern Flux Capacitor fully compatible with any present day vehicle! This item may be expensive, but can you place a price on time travel? NOTE: Special return policy: If you are not 100% satisfied, you may return this product for a full refund, in no LESS than 30 days before you purchase it!

Blinker Fluid
18.95
See New Version

Are you blinkers sluggish? Do they make an annoying ticking noise? Do they not flash fast enough? Here’s your solution. Little do people know, factory quality blinker fluid should be changed every 150,000 blinks. Our blinker fluid lasts ten times that. KaleCoAuto high quality synthetic blinker fluid meets the highest DOT standards while not being in the least bit DOT legal! KaleCoAuto blinker fluid provides you with thousands of hours of reliable blinking without the wear and tear on the flash-synchro’s that the other blinker fluids cause. KaleCoAuto blinker fluid will not lose its viscosity even in the most extreme situations. Why buy that old dino-blinker fluid, when you can get our unique patented synthetic formula? Satisfaction guaranteed!! For use in any car.

Elbow Grease
6.99
See New Version

Ran out of Elbow Grease during that difficult project? Can’t get that lugnut off your wheel? Is that engine block just too darn heavy for your to pick up on your own? KaleCoAuto’s Elbow Grease is the perfect solution for you! Made from high quality synthetic materials, KaleCoAuto’s Elbow Grease is without peer! WARNING: HARD WORK MAY LEAD TO INCREASED MUSCLE TONE AND BETTER OVERALL HEALTH. TO BE SAFE, YOU SHOULD USE AS LITTLE OF THIS PRODUCT AS POSSIBLE!

Energy Drink / Octane Booster
4.99
Banned

Energy drinks. This is something that is way out of hand these days. But – They are all the same, aren’t they? Guarana, Caffeine, and lots of Sugar. It’s all just masked by one artificial flavor or another. But why haven’t there been any great breakthroughs? Because we had not released ours yet! If you can get email on your phone, or internet on your game console, why can’t you get octane booster in your energy drink? This will give both you AND your ride some much needed pep! Includes tasty chemicals like: Toulene, Nitroglycerine and Acetalyne. Just to name a few! And as an added bonus – It can strip lead paint. Warning: Do not operate machinery while under the influence, or expect to live more than one hour after imbibing. If swallowed, consult whichever god you pray to. Do not get on skin. Do not get in eyes.

Engine Scrub
32.99
New Version Coming Soon

Is the inside of your motor dirty? Most likely! Some people will tell you the only way to clean your motor is to tear it down and rebuild it. This is no good!!! KaleCoAuto internals cleaner is a special combination of iron, graphite, and copper shrapnel of assorted sizes that work to sand and polish the inside of your motor! Add 2oz per quart of oil in your car. New engine clean shrapnel should be used at every oil change! Bottle includes pouring mechanism. Comes in 16oz packages. Do not ingest. Contact a physician immediately if ingested, do not induce vomiting.

Heavy Duty Clutch Belt
29.99
New Version Coming Soon


A long time ago when the transmission began to slip, you’d know it was time for a rebuild. But! Rebuilds are costly, and half the time, not neccessary. What you may be experiencing is clutch-belt failure! KaleCoAuto heavy duty kevlar belts are made with the quality you can expect from KaleCoAuto. Please specify diameter and width of belt when ordering.

Hollow Plug Wires
98.99
New Version Coming Soon

When cleaning your engine bay and you are seeking that extra shine, you need KaleCoAuto’s new Chrome Hollow Spark Plug Wires! Unique “hollow” design wires allow ignition molecules to flow freely from your distribution point to your motor apex! These Chromed spark plug wires replace those silly metallic spark plug wires and they never need cleaning. Available in chrome.

Polar Vortex Seasonal Air
39.95
Gone With The Wind

Brrrr! Here at our California headquarters, we can really sympathize with the current frosty situation East of here. Though we aren’t quite exactly sure what snow is, we do get frost and hail from time to time. Fortunately, our highly qualified air engineer, Doctor Olga, has come up with a tire air solution for all those suffering from the ominously named POLAR VORTEX. Polar Vortex tire air comes in a pack of 4, and is plenty to fill your tires with polar vortex ready air. Please note, we can not currently ship this product to any region experiencing the polar vortex due to severe weather conditions.

Seasonal Tire Air
28.90
See New Version

Everyone knows that temperature can have a great impact in your tire pressure. This is why you absolutely should use the correct air for your tires! For example, your car should usually have the tires set to 32psi. If you are using summer air in the summer, this is fine. However! If you use this summer air in the dead of winter, you may actually only be running at about 22psi! Each can will do one average sized tire. Sold in sets of 1 each.

Spark Plug Wire Cleaner
9.99
Discontinued

Patented high-tech design allows KaleCoAuto Plug/Wire cleaner to reclaim old spark plugs and wires! Did you know that tune-ups are completely unnecessary? The only reason your car has bad spark is dirt in the plug lines, and build up on the spark plugs! Simply pour this cleaner into your battery, step back, and watch the engine run smoother! Not for use on vehicles equipped with Opti-Spark. Now reformulated for compatibility with diesel engines!

Hephaestian Midbass
6,200,950.65
Discontinued

Many owners of the Mother of all Subwoofers have complained that their paltry component systems simply could not keep up with it. We searched high and low for a build house that could create something to our specifications. Most were shocked, and one engineer went mad, tearing their clothes off and running into the forest, never to be seen again. But, at long last, a mysterious deformed, yet muscular man showed up one day, and said “I shall build this midbass, or my name is not Haephestus!” While we still do not know who he is, he did manage not only to meet, but to far exceed our specifications. The surround is Vulcanized rubber. The basket, made from a titanium alloy. The magnet, though large, is pure neodymium! And the one inch cone inside the massive surround is nothing but the purest virgin steel. Oh yes, this midbass has some serious potential. Available in 7″ only. Warning, this midbass will blow your doors off! We’re being quite literal.

Mother of all Subwoofers
8,260,000.25
See New Version!

Thousands and thousands of years ago, man climbed the mountains of the gods and stole their fire. Not much had happened since then, until now. Behold, man has once again climbed the mountain of the gods, broke into their cars, and stole their audio equipment. The Mother of all Subwoofers is simply the pinnacle of all things audio. The basket is pure unobtanium, the magnets forged by Thor himself! The super stiff cone is made from the pulp of the ambrosia plant, finely woven into perfection. This amazing driver is capable of going as low as -500 antiherz! Special warning about KalecoAuto Audio Equipment: Listening to such equipment by mortals is HIGHLY ill advised!

Tweeter Dimmer
6.50
Lost Under The Bench

Straight from the stereo of Dionysis, the Tweeter Dimmer is the solution for your overly bright highs! Reduces the brightness of tweeters, without reducing their volume. Truly a fine product for the truly dim!

Violent Bass Air
15.99
New Version Bumping Soon

Do your subwoofers boom like so? Of course they don’t. You don’t have Violent Bass Air. Violent Bass Air is a revolutionary new product that can add testicle-smashing-oontz to any car audio substage. Whether you listen to Three Six Mafia, or tend to the more sophisticated Rick Astley – Never Gonna Give You Up – Violent Bass Air will improve your ride in more ways you can imagine. Brown note, pink note? Hang out at www.diymobileaudio.com ? Violent Bass Air is fresh, winter air from Canada, and is never compressed. (For the best sound quality, of course.) With its high nitrogen content of at least 75% (Nitrogen, like in race car tires!) you will definitely get more deebees. WARNING: Violent Bass Air can cause sudden and violent defecation. Do not use in conjuction with sweet ByNines on your rear deck, as they might become damaged. May cause a painful condition known as bumpitis. Do not use in conjunction with Funky Pups, as it may knock airplanes out of the sky. Sold by the cubic foot.

710 Cap
5.99
See New Version

Having trouble locating a replacement 710 Cap? KaleCoAuto has an industry exclusive: The Chrome 710 Cap. The chrome finish provides that desired sparkle and shine to your otherwise dull engine bay.

Heavy Duty Tire Beads
10.99
See New Version

Ever lost or broken the bead in your tire mid-corner, only to have the tire come free from the wheel in a dangerous manner? Imagine for a moment, that you could underinflate your tires safely, without worrying about your racecar-like driving ability causing problems. Done imagining? Now buy these. The KaleCoAuto tire beads are pure titanium – and 100 times stronger than a typical tire bead. Also makes a nice necklace for someone special in your life.

Johnson Rod
28.99
New Version Coming Soon

You spoke, we listened! The long anticipated Johnson Rod has finally made an appearance! Bursting from our engineering bay, and three years in the making, this is most spectacular rod on the market. Not only is the Johnson Rod fully extendable, but it is also .5″ greater in girth than any competitor’s Johnson Rod. Please install Johnson Rod between 70-90f, as cold weather will cause it to contract.

Kuhneutson Valve
20.00
New Version Coming Soon

(AKA “Kneutson, Kanutson”) Our superior Kuneutson valves are superior to the inferior kuhneutson valves! For use especially on engines with camshafts. The number one sign of Kuhneutson failure is reduced bore on your engine block! Easily remedy this with a Kuneutson Valve from KaleCoAuto! Now compatible with modern computer controlled cars.

Muffler Bearing
33.95
See New Version

Do you have an annoying rattling in your mufflers? Are they sagging a little? Don’t quite sound right? That could be the symptoms of a worn muffler bearing. Allow me to introduce the KaleCoAuto muffler bearing! It’s unique iron-graphite composite with pre-grease-packed assembly provides over 200,000 miles of smooth muffler operation! It is most likely they will outlast your mufflers. Also works well on heavy duty exhaust systems. One per muffler.

Piston Return Spring
54.99
See New Version

KaleCoAuto has produced the highest quality piston return spring to date! High temperance chromed metal resists temperatures up to 300’f. KaleCoAuto piston return springs FORCE the pistons back into the motor, no longer relying on gravity! This effectively increases your revs, horsepower, and peak torque! You must buy one return spring per piston. Rotary engines require install of pistons for full compatibility. One per piston. Please specify if you are using a boxer motor!

Chin Nuts
17.95
Discontinued

This is a product that needs no introduction or explanation! World famous, and found on many Rap Stars’ vehicles, the Chin Nuts are now available chrome-nickel plated! Helps prevent loss of vehicle’s chin spoiler in hairy situations. Sold in pairs.

Left Handed Metric Screwdriver
13.90
See New Version

This screwdriver was specially formulated by the Coalition of Left Handed Peoples for the Furthering of Left Handed Recognition and Also the Metric System. (AKA CLHPFLHRAMS.) Naturally, KaleCoAuto came to a partnership with them to create this finely machine crafted screwdriver. This screwdriver uses high tech materials, such as steel, and plastic. (NASA uses steel and plastic!) This screwdriver is great for loosening screws on the right side of the vehicle, or tightening screws on the left side of the vehicle.

Pilot Wrench
7.95
See New Version

Most cars suffer from this horrible malady – a loose nut behind the wheel!! But not anymore. Only one company had the foresight and brilliance to bring you this product – The Pilot Wrench. Quickly tighten the nut behind ANY wheel for instant improvements in responsiveness, handling, and braking! Please indicate how big of a bolt head is behind the wheel before ordering! If unsure, ask your friends. Also available in metric.

Sky Hook Set
380.99
See New Version

Using ancient secrets from renowned magicians known for climbing sky ropes, the new KaleCoAuto Skyhook set is perfect for the home mechanic! Comes in a set of four (for each corner of your vehicle.) Simply attach the top of the chain to the sky, and hoist any object up to 700lbs per chain, onto each hook!

Wiper Blade Sharpener
11.99
See New Version

Wiper blades not cutting it? Why replace them, when you could sharpen them? This high grade whetstone is all that you would expect from our quality line of KaleCoAuto products. It features three sharpening surfaces for different sizes of wiper blades.